When we hear the phrase, "dark side of paranormal" it conjures up images of demon chasing, poltergeist wrangling and maybe even the occasional evil haunted item. We see it over and over again on the latest paranormal tv show or the popular Hollywood films. What we rarely speak of is the dark the living bring to their investigations or even to their paranormal personas.
When I started more organized investigations, I wanted what I saw on the shows. I purchased every piece of equipment I saw the "stars" use, while trying to replicate their experiences. I wanted to feel every feeling and see and sense things from beyond the veil. As I progressed, I realized I wasn't feeling ANY of what the television investigators were, along with those on the public hunts. Those literally standing next to me, in a proclaimed "most haunted" location saw apparitions and watched items move.
This stirred my interest in what type of person was attracted to these haunted locations. I watched, listened and noted everything from age, gender, geography, martial status and oddly enough, financial status. You spend sometimes upwards of 8+ hours in these investigations and no matter what the tv shows may tell you, most of those hours are not spent in horror, fear and fighting off ghosts. People talk, open up. Perhaps, because we are all in "it" together there is a feeling of camaraderie. I am sure it is different for everyone, but people share personal information/stories. It would seem I leave locations knowing more about the living then I do about the spirits I went to find in the first place,
For the first topic of PARANORMALLY blonde, we chose The Dark Side of Paranormal. We both picked paranormal personalities that have anything but a happy ending. As I listened to podcast and read articles, I read between the lines and studied the living and not the ghostly tales. Before I continue, I will state for the record, I DO NOT know the personalities I chose personally, I only know what has been shared by their friends, others in the field of paranormal and those perceptions made by many in the podcast/journalist world. My observation is, we must step outside paranormal and remember the living have a dark reality. It can be easy to say, "they had an attachment" or "they dabbled in the negative too much" and I would say, "perhaps". We can get carried away with what we surround ourselves with. Remember the Rumi quote, "What you seek is seeking you." We also tend to take ourselves too serious in the world of paranormal, calling ourselves "experts", "parapsychologists" and "demonologists". We get caught up in the character, while distancing ourselves from the responsibility of negative behavior. I am not implying it is done consciously, however, we need to take care in not losing ourselves in the description made by Hollywood.
As I leaned what I could about these personalities (Debbie and Mark Constantino), I started to hear in my head, "were they attracted to the paranormal OR was the paranormal attracted to them ?" Does it matter, demon or personal demon? The outcome tends to be the same. Maybe the real demons are fame, greed, insecurity and jealousy. These are certainly issues that seemed to plague the couple: Arrest records, family alienation, money issues, and domestic violence. We see them on tv and assume we know who they are. We want to take the word of those in the community, that share their perception. That is not to say that they did not experience something of the paranormal that added to their already tumultuous life. There were many that claim the couple shared that their home was incredibly haunted. We should be curious, is there something to mindset/lifestyle and the paranormal? If we ignore how they lived, it does not invalidate the dead. Is it predictable on who may have negative experiences and who does not? Which leads me back to my observations on many investigations. I found, many of us long for the attention to be seen as special. This is not to say experiences do not happen, I most certainly believe they do. And I am certain those that share their experiences believe them 100%. I am speaking about the perception of experiences and how these are used in our everyday life.
I am not here to invalidate, but rather continue the conversation of paranormal and what it means to the living. If we open ourselves up to the entirety of the experience, living and those beyond the veil, we may realize we are all special. Like many things in life, some things come easier to some than others and it takes time, practice, trial and error and willingness to admit we do NOT have all the answers.
After spending time listening to the stories of Debbie and Mark Constantino, my take away is that we certainly do not know every intimate detail of their personal life, just those that are public record. It seems, they were headed down a path that did not have a positive outcome in the works. You decide for yourself if it seemed they were being played by the other side or if these were two people that already had issues and adding the "dark side of paranormal" placed them in direct danger? It is our job, not only as investigators but members of the paranormal community, to be sure NOT to use these stories for our own agendas. We should respect the details we do know and more importantly, those we do not.
Sometimes to admit we are the creator of what ails us is scarier than that of the entity we hand the honor to. So I ask again, demon or personal demon? Perhaps the search for that answer is more important than we realize.
Our first topic is heavy in nature but an important topic to discuss. Exploring our mortality and our conditioned beliefs can be difficult to know when we are in danger of harming ourselves or others, please know there are MANY here to help, YOU ARE NEVER ALONE.
NAMI - National Alliance of Mental Health: 1-800-950-6264
National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-787-7233
Stay safe and stay centered.
-Sara V
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